I had heard that Jeremy Robbins was a paragon of male beauty who got his kit off in the name of art. And that, really, is all that he eventually proves to be. Slippery When Wet is unquestionably brilliant and, with a running time of ten minutes, perfectly formed. Unfortunately, the audience first had to sit through Prime Object: Love, which stretched the limitations of both the performer and his subject matter well beyond breaking point.

The programme notes informed that the piece was inspired by Pink Narcissus, an anonymous soft porn movie not dissimilar from those of Andy Warhol. Like the latter, it appeared to be saying something about human sexuality and autoeroticism but you soon realised it was saying little of significance. In the end it is merely titillation dressed up as art. And so it is with Prime Object: Love – the frantic gesticulations of a stripper attempting irony. This may sound unnecessarily unkind to Mr Robbins. He is, in fact, an exceedingly accomplished gymnast and there are moments of breathtaking aerial acrobatics. But the first piece suffered terribly from a naff set, clumsy physical transitions and crass and amateurish slides of Greek discus throwers and club land slang.

Ultimately you can't help feeling like a guest at a Guardian reader's hen night – you don't really care about the subtext, because you know what's coming and that's all you really want.